An Open Letter To My Anxiety

Before I start this I just have to say that I was inspired to write this by swiftiewithfragilex who is an amazing blogger as well as an incredible Youtuber. She has not only given me lots of inspiration but has become a great friend too. I would highly recommend anyone reading this to take the “Open Letter Challenge.”

Dear Anxiety,

I guess I’ve always been a little paranoid and I’ve always had the tendency to overthink everything and I can’t say that your appearance in my life is completely unexpected. I don’t know why I’m like this- maybe it’s the way I was raised or maybe I’m just genetically predispositioned to be an anxious person. Honestly, it could easily be either.

You joined me soon after your co-worker depression decided to leave. All my life I’ve felt as if I need to be cautious, as though I should always expect impending doom and once you joined me it only got worse. I stopped being myself. I felt as if my life, my mind, my personality was slowly deteriorating and I could do nothing to stop it.

The light headedness, the nausea, the headaches, the random panic and the social phobia were beginning to pull me under. With depression it felt like I was at the bottom of an ocean with a rock tied to my foot but with anxiety it was more like someone just threw me into the water and no matter how hard I tried to swim, to get back up I just kept going further and further down. I was drowning in my own panic and paranoia. I felt permanently exhausted both physically and psychologically as though I had no strength left. It takes more strength than most people realise to be panicked and uncomfortable all the time.

But the truth is that I have learnt to live with anxiety. I have learnt to live with the irrational thoughts, the feeling of fear and impending doom, the occasional lightheadedness and panic attacks, the cold sweats and nausea.

The only thing I have left to say is that I thought anxiety would ruin my life but it only made me stronger, braver, more determined to do as I choose without constantly worrying what the aftermath would be. As long as it keeps pushing me up I’m going to keep swimming upwards trying to break free. It no longer controls me, I control it.

***

If you or anyone you know is suffering from anxiety or any mental disorder please seek help . It is important that you make sure your mental health doesn’t bring you down and there are lots of people out there that offer help. Mental illness often also effects those around us and a lot of times couples counselling can help your significant other understand what you are going through better.

Thanks for reading this and if you enjoyed it please give it a like, follow, share and comment.

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5 Common Mental Disorders Explained

Mental disorders/illnesses are a range of mental health conditions that affect your mood, thinking, and behaviour. A mental health concern becomes a mental disorder when ongoing signs and symptoms cause frequent stress and affect your ability to function. The following are descriptions of some common mental illnesses/disorders.

Multiple Personality Disorder/Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID)

This is a severe condition in which two or more distinct identities or personalities are present in- and alternatively take control of- an individual. The individual also experiences extensive memory loss. Usually a primary personality carries the individual’s given name and is passive, dependent and depressed. When in control each personality may have its own distinct history, self-image and identity. The alters’ characteristics including name, reported age and gender, vocabulary and predominant mood usually contrast with those of the primary identity. The various identities may deny knowledge of one another, be critical of one another or appear to be in open conflict.

Schizophrenia

Schizophrenia is a brain disorder which affects the way a person behaves, thinks, and sees the world. People with this disorder often have an altered perception of reality. They may see or hear things that don’t exist, speak in strange or confusing ways, and believe that people are trying to harm them or that they are being constantly watched. They may also withdraw from the outside world or act out in confusion or terror.

Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD)

ADHD is a chronic condition that affects millions of children and often persists into adulthood. Some of the problems faced by people with this disorder include difficulty sustaining attention, hyperactivity and impulsive behaviour. Children with ADHD may also have low self-esteem, troubled relationships and poor performance in school. Symptoms for some may lessen with age but some people never completely outgrow their ADHD symptoms.

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD)

OCD is an anxiety disorder which is a potentially disabling condition that can persist throughout an individual’s life. It is categorized by obsessive thoughts and compulsive actions such as cleaning, checking, counting and hoarding. The person who suffers from OCD becomes trapped in a pattern of repetitive thoughts and behaviours that are senseless and difficult but very difficult to overcome. Persistent fears that harm may come to ones self or a loved one, an unreasonable concern with becoming contaminated, or an excessive need to do things correctly or perfectly, are common.

Depression

It’s also known as clinical depression or major depressive disorder. Depression is mood disorder and it causes a persistent feeling of sadness/unhappiness and loss of interest. Symptoms include frustration or anger, insomnia or oversleeping, trouble thinking or making decisions and sometimes suicidal thoughts. Depression effects how an individual feels, thinks and behave and can lead to a number of emotional and physical problems. They may have trouble with day to day activities and may have suicidal thoughts.

If you or anyone you know is suffering from a mental disorder or illness please seek help immediately as many illnesses are curable with medicine and therapy. The important thing to remember is that mental illness is nothing to be ashamed of. And a lot of times the people we love are effected by our mental illness too and getting relationship counselling can really help both of you deal with it.

“You are not your illness. You have an individual story to tell. You have a name, a history, a personality. Staying yourself is part of the battle.”

-Julian Seifte

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