The Liebster Award!

I want to thank skyscrapesforthesoul for nominating me for this super fun award and sorry it took me forever to post this! Please do check out skyscrapesforthesoul which is an awesome blog filled with really interesting posts!

Rules for this award
Acknowledge the blog who nominated you for this award.
•Answer 11 questions the blogger gave you
•Give 11 random facts about yourself
•Nominate 11 blogs
•Give 11 questions for them to answer

Q.1 What is the weirdest experience of your life?

One time I saw something weird in the sky that I’m pretty sure was a UFO. Also I once saw something that looked like a ghost. It was very dark so I don’t know if it was real though.

Q.2 If you could have a chance to live anywhere on Earth, where would it be?

Germany.

Q.3 If you could choose how old to live to, what would that age be?

99?

Q.4 If you were to be executed, what would be your last meal?

Pizza, pasta, lasagna, kimchi fried rice and ice cream!

Q.5 Who have you met that you felt you’d known forever, but they only had that moment in your life?

Most of the blogger I talk to seem like old friends to me!

Q.6 Whose blog do you most look forward to reading and why?

I really can’t choose!

Q.7 Any suggestions to improve my blog?

Nope!

Q.8 If you had to start over at 18 and follow a different career, what would it be?

Lol my career isn’t written in stone yet so I’m still okay to choose! But for now I want to get my Degree, Masters and Doctorate and after that I want to work as a professor at a university or teach underprivileged youth.

Q.9 If aliens landed in your back yard, would you go with them?

Probably- almost definitely.

Q.10 What is one physical characteristic about yourself you’d like to change?

Ummm nothing in particular really. Maybe a smaller nose…

Q.11 What kind of weather do you like best?

I prefer colder weather

11 Random facts about me:

  • I’m 20 years old
  • I love my nails so they’re always pretty and polished
  • I prefer my hair straight than curly
  • I love animals
  • I love nature
  • I love cooking
  • I don’t like drinking water but I have to because I don’t want to get dehydrated!
  • I have stopped drinking anything with caffeine
  • I have anxiety
  • I want to travel the world and see everything
  • I’m a huge fan of Seth MacFarlane and literally anything he’s ever done!

My Nominees:

Anyone reading this should consider themselves nominated with the same questions!

For more awards click here.

And if you enjoyed this post don’t forget to like, follow, share and comment!

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How To Have Fun As An Introvert!

Plan- As an introvert I get a lot of anxiety about stuff like hanging out or going somewhere and to decrease your anxiety and have more fun you should try to plan our your activities for the day before hand so that you have a stress free time. And if you’re going to multiple places make sure you have a ride planned, and I think one way to make that less stressful is to rent a car because if like me you don’t really have a car of your own it gets a little expensive using taxis or Uber’s all day long. Turo is a good option if you’re in the US, Canada or the U.K. It’s car renting company where you can rent a car and the best part is it’s peer-to-peer renting. That way you can have a ride for the whole day and don’t have to worry about getting back on time. For more information on Turo and how to rent a car please click here.

Few People- I usually don’t like parties or events with too many people because I start feeling overwhelmed and uncomfortable so if you’re planning a party or get-together make sure to invite only close friends and family so you don’t end up overwhelmed with talking to everyone and being a good host. If there are few people you can have deeper conversations with everyone and have a good time too!

Loosen Up- try to loosen up before hanging out with your friends so you can have fun. Meditation and yoga helps me loosen up but you can do anything you’re comfortable with that you like. Playing with your pets is also another great way to relax.

Nothing Is Perfect- Nothing in the world can be perfect and your party/fun night out doesn’t have to be perfect either. Honestly, some of my fondest memories are of when things went wrong and my friends and I were just like what?!? I know how hard it is to try to not control everything but it’s way more fun to let go and just let things happen the way they’re probably going to anyway.  

Do Something Mellow And Low-Key- If you’re idea of having fun is sitting with a few close friends and discussing the books you’re reading at the moment or your favorite TV shows in your PJ’s with a bunch of pizza and popcorn I say go for it! No one should tell you how to have fun and enjoy your life and you should do whatever you want even if it seems boring to other people. Having fun is all about how you feel not about pleasing other people.

I hope you enjoyed this post and if you did don’t forget to like, follow, share and comment!

An Open Letter To My Anxiety

Before I start this I just have to say that I was inspired to write this by swiftiewithfragilex who is an amazing blogger as well as an incredible Youtuber. She has not only given me lots of inspiration but has become a great friend too. I would highly recommend anyone reading this to take the “Open Letter Challenge.”

Dear Anxiety,

I guess I’ve always been a little paranoid and I’ve always had the tendency to overthink everything and I can’t say that your appearance in my life is completely unexpected. I don’t know why I’m like this- maybe it’s the way I was raised or maybe I’m just genetically predispositioned to be an anxious person. Honestly, it could easily be either.

You joined me soon after your co-worker depression decided to leave. All my life I’ve felt as if I need to be cautious, as though I should always expect impending doom and once you joined me it only got worse. I stopped being myself. I felt as if my life, my mind, my personality was slowly deteriorating and I could do nothing to stop it.

The light headedness, the nausea, the headaches, the random panic and the social phobia were beginning to pull me under. With depression it felt like I was at the bottom of an ocean with a rock tied to my foot but with anxiety it was more like someone just threw me into the water and no matter how hard I tried to swim, to get back up I just kept going further and further down. I was drowning in my own panic and paranoia. I felt permanently exhausted both physically and psychologically as though I had no strength left. It takes more strength than most people realise to be panicked and uncomfortable all the time.

But the truth is that I have learnt to live with anxiety. I have learnt to live with the irrational thoughts, the feeling of fear and impending doom, the occasional lightheadedness and panic attacks, the cold sweats and nausea.

The only thing I have left to say is that I thought anxiety would ruin my life but it only made me stronger, braver, more determined to do as I choose without constantly worrying what the aftermath would be. As long as it keeps pushing me up I’m going to keep swimming upwards trying to break free. It no longer controls me, I control it.

***

If you or anyone you know is suffering from anxiety or any mental disorder please seek help . It is important that you make sure your mental health doesn’t bring you down and there are lots of people out there that offer help. Mental illness often also effects those around us and a lot of times couples counselling can help your significant other understand what you are going through better.

Thanks for reading this and if you enjoyed it please give it a like, follow, share and comment.

Living With Social Anxiety

It’s not that common, it doesn’t happen to everyone and it is a big deal! Social anxiety can take over the life of the person that is affected by it. Social anxiety is nothing like the normal fear that people usually feel, instead it has a crippling effect and small everyday situations can seem terrifying. For a socially anxious person every single little detail counts. It doesn’t matter whether people understand how we feel or not because at the end of the day we will always be worried about something or the other.

Sometimes we look completely calm on the outside like we’re totally fine with everything that’s going on when in reality we’ve already devised plans to run away to Finland in our heads. Even when we pretend like we’re totally calm little details that most people usually don’t even seem to notice can drive us crazy on the inside. Our minds are always working on overdrive and we’re always coming up with frightening scenarios in our head about all the things that could possibly go wrong. So the next time you see us sitting quietly in a corner looking like we’re intensely thinking of something we’re probably freaking out about what would happen if there was a zombie apocalypse or even worse if a stranger talked to us.

Meeting new people can be one of the scariest things ever for us. We feel trapped, uncomfortable and suffocated. Even worse than being introduced to new people is being alone with new people, like when a friend ditches you with someone they think you have “lots in common with.” We have no idea how to start conversations and by the time we’re done thinking of a topic to mention something about it has probably been like five minutes and there’s already an awkward silence. We don’t mean to make people uncomfortable but sometimes we’re just shy and don’t know what to say. For this reason it’s really hard for us to make new friends because we can never really interact with anyone. We always have our guards up and definitely have trust issues. This can sometimes (almost always) make it difficult to talk to someone you’re attracted to and it’s hard to even think about dating someone and sometimes it feels like you’ll never trust someone enough to picture yourself being in a relationship with them. The advantage to this however is that we have a small group of friends we’re insanely close to and really comfortable around. These friends are probably a little shy and awkward like us but they’re loyal, down-to-earth and most importantly they get us.

A really cool thing about having social anxiety is that soon you learn to profile people and you can almost accurately guess their personality type. This really helps because it makes it easier for you to find someone you can better relate to and you can know who is approachable and who you should definitely avoid. Profiling people is a skill we eventually pick up- it gets better over time. Soon you know your crowd and the people you would most likely have things in common with.

So this next one is going to sound crazy to people who don’t have social anxiety but talking on the phone can be really terrifying. Picking up the phone and talking to someone you don’t know or calling unfamiliar people can be really scary. It’s almost like a phobia. It’s really difficult to explain this one but there’s something about talking on the phone that gives us chills. Maybe it’s because we can’t really tell what the other person is thinking because we can’t see them or maybe it’s just that we find it hard to verbalize our thoughts well because anxiety can really mess with your train of thought.

Change is frightening and it is very difficult for us to tolerate anything being different. Ironically, for me, change in general is perfectly fine and I believe the world does need to change a lot if we want the human race to not go extinct in a few hundred years but when it comes to little changes like someone moving something it can be really irritating. It’s like an itch in your brain that you just can’t scratch that won’t go away until everything goes back to normal.

Being picked on or even mentioned by others especially in class can give us mild panic attacks. We do not like attention to a point where we will keep information to ourselves even if we know we’re right like when a teacher asks the class a question we won’t answer even if we have the correct answer.

The sad part is that people constantly question your behavior and since most people with social anxiety already have low self-esteem issues it can get very difficult. We are kind of perfectionists as it is because we need things to be perfect so that the aftermath isn’t as catastrophic as we imagine it will be. Bullies tend to have a field day making our lives more difficult than it already is because they know we’ll squirm and we probably won’t fight back. Plus, we’re touchy about little things like our weight, appearance, clothing etc. People have a hard time understanding how we feel because they can’t empathize with something they’ve never experienced. They look at us differently- we’re either invisible to them or we’re the weird kids who can’t socialize. Sometimes we just want to be ‘normal’ and hope as an adult we can just be like everyone else and not always crippled by anxiety. Sometimes it seems like it would be so much easier to just be someone else. People think we’re really sensitive but we can’t help it because we’re always at the edge of our seats waiting for something to go wrong like it always does.

The library rules. It’s the safest place in school because it’s like there’s an anti-bully/anti-stupid spell on it. Empty libraries are amazing because you get to be alone for a while and you stop thinking so much as you get lost in a book. Even if it is just for a short time you get to be free and unafraid. We love alone time and tend to be introverts.

We try to avoid all social gatherings and it doesn’t matter what we miss out on as long as we’re not forced to socialize. Taking pictures sucks because it makes us rethink our fashion choices, makeup up choices, hairstyle choices etc. Like I mentioned we’re sensitive… We are super uncomfortable being late and walking into a room that’s already full because that means the attention is on us and it makes us very awkward. We can’t talk in front crowds because it makes us literally nauseous.

I just want to thank Natasha for coming up with the idea to write about our social anxiety and for all the help on this post. I also want to say that having social anxiety is not the end of the world. Just because you find certain situations difficult and you find it hard to stop overthinking everything, doesn’t mean you can’t someday change and break free. When you find people who love and accept you for who you are you’ll understand that being different isn’t sad or pathetic, you’re unique and you should use your gifts and talents positively. Plus, don’t let anxiety scare you out of having fun because you might regret it later in life. Do what makes you happy and don’t listen to the negative things people have to say.

“Don’t fill your head with worries, there won’t be room for anything else!”

“Do the thing you fear most and the death of fear is certain” -Mark Twain

If you or someone you know is suffering from social anxiety or any other disorders please seek help. There are many professionals out there who can help including online therapists who you can talk to any time.

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