Self Confidence! (Guest Post)

EE Cummings wrote that “Once we believe in ourselves, we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight, or any experience that reveals the human spirit”… These words resonate well with exactly what Self Esteem is and why it’s important for an individual to possess.

 
Brief explanation what is self confidence?
 
In her book The Portable Therapist (1992), Susanna McMahon explains that self-confidence is “a way of being in the world that allows you to know yourself and to take care of yourself.” Mary Welford (2013) says that it’s about being aware of when we’re struggling and having the strength to commit to doing something about it. Anneli Rufus (2014) asserts that self-confidence involves self-respect and having the courage to tell the truth about who you are, what you like, and what you believe.
Self-confidence, then, is the courage to know yourself, believe in yourself, and act on your beliefs. A definition of self-confidence is a positive feeling about oneself and the world that leads to courageous actions born out of a sense of self-respect.
Article – https://www.healthyplace.com › Web results What Is Self-Confidence? | HealthyPlace
“Trust thyself: every heart vibrates to that iron string.”- Ralph Waldo Emerson
 
Tips to improvement self confidence?
 
  • Thinking positive and focusing on what you do best .
  • Allowing yourself to think of things that you best at , giving yourself a chance to prove it
  • Look at yourself in the mirror (self-talk ) tell yourself you can do it!
  • If you doubting speak to a friend or family for opinions .
  • Been comfortable and confident you got to act it , smile and laugh. The way you physically show it by posture , standing upright with a smile.
  • Always love yourself , look at things that you love of yourself , you capable of many things this will make you confident in proving in yourself “ YOU CAN DO IT.
“Low self-esteem is like driving through life with your hand brake on.” — Maxwell Maltz
 
Don’t put life on pause , having a low esteem will set you back . To build confidence, you have to practice confidence. Trying out new things in life but you afraid , be confident in yourself to give yourself a chance taking the step forward without been negative .
Always believe in yourself never bring yourself down in what other people say or do to bring your confidence low.
 
  • Self-esteem is an essential human need that is vital for survival and normal, healthy development
  • Self-esteem arises automatically from within based on a person’s beliefs and consciousness
  • Self-esteem occurs in conjunction with a person’s thoughts, behaviors, feelings, and actions.
Points from the below link-
https://positivepsychologyprogram.com › …Web resultsWhat is Self-Confidence? + 9 Ways to Increase It [2019 Update]
Practice visualizing a fantastic version of yourself, achieving your goals.

Comment below on your thoughts of self -confidence , how has it effected you? And how did change you?. Will love you hear your experience .

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Lichen Poem: “Nature’s Headrest” (Guest Poem)

by Caden738

I lay in the woods

Resting my head on a log

Dreaming in the fog

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For more from Caden click here. This writer is currently looking for work, as a freelance poetry writer, or content writer- if you are interested in working with him please contact him at Caden738@theh2digroup.com.

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Who Controls Your Life – You or Your Desires? (Guest Post)

Coming from a person that struggles with an addictive personality, I know how all-consuming it can be to be constantly chasing that next high. Sometimes that high can be in the form of a new romance emotionally or sexually, an exciting adventure, that fourth cup of coffee in the day, greater fame, more money and of course addictive substances such as drugs or alcohol.

So what do I mean when I ask, “Who’s controlling your life, you or your desires?”.

Well, when your desires have taken the wheel in your life things tend to become more compulsive. Your inner voice may be telling you things like, “I have to find somebody to love. I’m feeling lonely.” or “I have to write the next big blog post so that my work can gain recognition.”There’s a sense of impending doom if thing’s don’t go a certain way.

When a desire takes control of your life you’re no longer in charge, you’re a servant to what you want and it’s going to cause you to suffer if you’re unable to get a hold of it. It’s an unhealthy way of thinking and it leads to a cycle of searching for the fix, temporary gratification because the insecurity disappears for a moment and then the cycle repeats itself.

Healthy desires, on the other hand, leave you in control and can be about the same exact things but the change occurs in the language that is used inside. When speaking about romance, if I were to say to myself, “My life is okay as it is, but it might be better if I had someone to share it with. I’m going to keep myself open to the possibility of finding someone new.”, then this is perfectly healthy thinking.

Often times what determines whether a desire is healthy or unhealthy is the “Why?” behind it. If the desire is being driven by insecurity, anxiety, desperation or compulsion then that desire has become unhealthy and it may be time to take a step back to re-evaluate that desire. An alcoholic drinks because he needs to drink to feel good. A sex addicts needs to have sex to feel fulfilled. An egotistical person needs to be recognized and admired.

Why is this desire so powerful that it is making you unhappy in the present moment if it can’t be gratified?

I’m a firm believer that the only thing in life really worth pursuing is happiness, and not just the happiness that comes with being temporarily gratified, but the kind of happiness that sticks around. Chasing temporary happiness usually isn’t going to get you there even though it can feel good for a moment.

To find permanent happiness in life one is often going to have to dig a little deeper. If a compulsive desire has revealed itself as an insecurity to you, then addressing the insecurity should take priority over feeding into that insecure desire. The cycle needs to be broken!

If you’ve been looking for a partner, because alone you feel that you’re not good enough or unable to find happiness, then a relationship is only going to help you to feel happy temporarily. The truth is that you would be placing a huge burden on to your next partner and the relationship will likely end in an inevitable collapse. It also may mean that you will lower your expectations in order to find somebody and in doing so, end up with a person who really isn’t what you wanted anyways. Perhaps that would take you a few months or years to figure out, but it would only hurt you and your partner in time.

The trick in that circumstance, would be to try to find other ways of fulfilling yourself so that you can gain confidence in who you are, to minimize that need for someone else and to find happiness on your own through friends or hobbies. This way, when you do return to the dating game, you can go in to it with a healthier attitude of wanting while maintaining the control over that desire by not needing.

If you are addicted alcohol or hard drugs, the idea is similar. There is something inside compelling you in that direction. If you know something is not good for you but you feel a need for it anyways, then it’s not only important to break the dependency but to seek help in addressing those deeper insecurities and traumas that are leading you towards self-destruction.

Everyone has a history of insecurities which we’ve gathered from our childhoods and past experiences, but as mature and intelligent adults we have the power to challenge those insecurities when we are able to recognize them. Our insecurities are a part of us, but they do not define us! You just need to believe that you can change and that you deserve better in your life than chasing temporary happiness!

I could go on and on, but then this post will turn into a novel. Never be afraid to share your struggles with others, you may discover that you’re far less alone than you had ever imagined. Never be afraid to ask for help or support and please try to make yourself available to those who need it as well. We’re all in this together, locked in a fierce duel with demons of our own.

My name is Mathew and I write for Blog of the Wolf Boy @ www.wildandfreeliving.net
I write about a whole variety of subjects, including physical and mental wellness, creative writing,
personal issues, travel and much more! I would love to have you join me on this journey, and I’m so
grateful for you taking the time to read my post. Thank you! 🙂

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The Mindset Of A Millionaire (Guest Post)

Growing up as a child, mind I was strange yet fascinating. I have always love numbers and money. I grew up in isolation from the world as a kid and focused half of my life on social media. This is what made me who I am today, an entrepreneur. I see numbers on every object and how I can profit on every item I see. My mind was strange. I would think day and night, listen to podcasts, and browse motivational videos. Am I a millionaire yet? No. Do I see myself as one? Yes.

I will carry that spark of fire in me until the end. (motivation)

As an introvert, I excluded myself from social interactions my whole life even though my goal is to make a difference and impact on the world. I went through a dark path that diverted me into becoming who I am today. The goal I had in mind, is to inspire the kids of many generations and that anything in life is possible.

Success is Inevitable

There will be times where you feel like you want to give up but you know you shouldn’t. You feel lost. But life can only progress if you want to become successful and to me, success is inevitable just like how Thanos believed that he’s inevitable. Except we’re not the villain here but the hero to ourselves.

When you start on a project, you will fail. When you fail, you will learn. When you learn, you will gain new knowledge. When you gain new knowledge, you will twist your blueprint. When you twist your blueprints, you will fail. From all your trial and errors will then lead to a successful path.

You endure pain, sweat, and tears that will leave a stain and trail to your success. Success is inevitable. That is the beginning stage mindset of a millionaire.

You realize you are sacrificing your time that can’t be bought but you know the rewards will be tremendous in the end.

Every Person You Meet is an Opportunity

Every person you meet is an opportunity in my eyes. Whether you meet them online or offline, every person has some knowledge that you don’t know about. To become successful, you exchange your knowledge. You provide them with your service and they provide you with yours. They can be your customer, friend, acquaintance, or even family.

If you help the right people into a successful path, you are already on the right passage to success. These people are the bus of opportunities. You can find jobs because of them, you can survive because of them, or anything that is to your content.

Networking is powerful because every person can shape a little part of you in life while you’re shaping theirs.

The Doubt

No doubt but in life, people will continue to doubt you. Especially when you’re dreaming of bigger things in life, the doubt will come at you every day and night. The bad news is that the majority of doubts will happen at the beginning of your projects. Your family will tell you to find a real career, your friends will say good luck, and strangers will say good luck. The good news happens right after success. Your family will be proud of you, your friends will support you, and strangers will ask you how you did it?

Think of all the famous YouTubers before they were famous. How much were they doubted before they were famous?

I’ve been doubted my whole life but I carried that fire in me and I will continue to do so. To you, as the reader, I hope that you are too. I wish to see you on the greener side of life when we both achieve financial freedom. The days where we can sit on our lawn chairs on top of a yacht. You can light up my cigar and I’ll light up yours. We will celebrate victory together.

The Loneliest Journey

As you know, being an entrepreneur can be quite a lonely journey. You will have hardly anyone to relate to on your projects due to the fact that barely anyone shares the same goal. Your project could be unique because it’s your idea. You can hit depression at times but I’m going to tell you that it’s okay. Life will be tough but time and hard work will heal. 

If you have the mindset of a millionaire and are doing well, I applaud you. I struggle with sadness and stress but I know it won’t be for too long. The pain that you endure at the beginning stages will determine how you live your life for the rest of your life. Imagine working a full-time job on your project but having the freedom to build and nurture a plant. The freedom to spend time with your family whenever you want.

I just want to let you know that you will be okay. If you are going through depression, talk to a person or watch motivational videos. If you are stuck, watch tutorials and invent new ideas. If you can endure and carry that fire in your body until the end, I can assure you that success is waiting for you. There will be many bus stops, and waiting at those stops are the bus of opportunities.

We can change and impact the world together.

Thank you to my friend, Pooja~

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Plastic Water Bottles And Their Effects On Your Health (Guest Post)

This is Dr,. Ramya. I am Doctor by profession and a health blogger by passion  , i am an ENT , Head and neck surgeon from the prestigious JIPMER, pondicherry , INDIA.

I had this huge passion to write things regarding the health and there by keeping every thing on paper and i have written articles in various journals regarding human papiloma virus in cancer patients and snoring articles in various health related platforms. I started this website to get people know about the recent advances and latest medical field discoveries that many are not aware of  and things that are going around us that can make mans life easy in regarding to mental and physical health.Hoping that the things i am writing ,are helpful for few i am sharing my views.
Thankful to Pooja for giving me the opportunity to introduce myself to you. I met her in this blogging platform ,She is one of a passionate blogger as her works proved so.
Hoping that many would encourage the new things around us about the medical science that would help you for better mental and physical health i am sharing my website and facebook page  https://selflifehacks.com/   , https://www.facebook.com/selflifehacks/

The common material we use in day to day life is none other than the plastic.

We use it for various purposes and one among the major uses is by food industries and this plastic comes in various forms like the mineral water bottles and water cans for drinking purpose with a label on it 100% pure.

But this is not always correct. !!

A new research by Orb Media, a journalism organisation in Washington, D.C., shown that a single bottle can hold dozens or possibly even thousands of microscopic plastic particles.

Do you believe that the water cans we are using are not containing just water but also plastic!!

The researchers had done their experiments on more than 250 mineral water bottles from 11 different well known brands and revealed contamination with plastic material that  includes polypropylene, nylon, and polyethylene terephthalate (PET). After a through examination they have revealed the size of the plastic particles to be 100 micron, and global average of 10.4 plastic particles per liter.  When compared to even smaller plastic particles they have shown to be 314.6 per liter.

Guess how much plastic we are consuming in day to day life!

These chemicals which when consumed have devastating effects on body. Though about 90 % of the plastic is excreted out but the smaller plastic particle less than 150 microns can go into our blood and the lymphatic system and organs like kidneys and liver and get stored in them.

What can plastic do to your body?

There are many researchers done in this field and many have proved the disastrous effects of the plastic.

Keeps your heart at risk:

The plastic contains a chemical named bisphenol A, or BPA, which is widely found in plastic bottles, plastic packaging and the linings of food and beverage cans. A study was done in Korea , where the people who consumed soya milk in the BPA lined plastic containers have showed dramatic increase in the blood pressure when compared to times they have not taken the containers lined by BPA and their urinary concentration of BPA has raised to about 16 fold times.

For every 20 mm Hg there is twice increase in the cardiovascular diseases like heart attack and stokes. This research has shown that drinking in plastic bottles can potentially raise your blood pressure and heart diseases.

Can cause cancer:

There are various chemicals in the plastic water bottles that can mimic the estrogen(Hormone) in our body thereby replacing the function of the naturally produced estrogen in our body and putting our body into risk of developing various cancer like the breast cancer, ovarian cancer,colon, prostate cancers and even PCOD and various other problems like low sperm count in men and female unable to conceive.

Can cause autism in children:

A recent research has proved the relationship between the autism(conditions characterized by challenges with social skills, repetitive behaviors, speech and nonverbal communication. ) and the chemicals in the plastic and the culprit is again the chemical BPA, so it is advised for the pregnant ladies not to consume the water that is stored in the plastic bottles.

Conclusion:

The normal mineral water bottle that we use is far beyond just water in it. It is mixture of various chemicals which are derived from the plastic that is present in the plastic containers. The plastic can cause devastating health issues like the heart diseases, infertility, cancers, autism etc. These are all sold to us in the name of 100 percent pure mineral water in plastic containers.

This can be prevented by immediately transferring the water from the plastic containers to the aluminium or copper or stainless steel containers before drinking at least for few hours. It is always said that “Prevention is better than cure” so reducing the usage of plastic containers can help in reducing the health hazards.

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9000 WordPress Followers!

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Lifesfinewhine just reached 9000 WordPress followers which is so amazing and so exciting!

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Thank you all so much for supporting my tiny piece of the Internet and I am so happy that so many of you take the the time to read, like, share and comment on my posts!

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Writing has always been a way for me to express myself and when I found blogging I finally found the perfect platform to express myself on. Thank you so much for being so supportive. I feel like WordPress is a community and we are one huge family which is such an awesome feeling!

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As you guys know my goal this year is 10K and it’s so exciting to be so close to it!

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I also want to remind everyone especially my new followers that I have a page where you can share and promote your blog on lifesfinewhine. It’s a great place to find new blogs to check out as well as share your own blog! You can check out the page by clicking here.

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Again I just want to thank everyone for all the support you have shown this blog and if you are a new follower welcome and I hope you continue supporting lifesfinewhine!

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Top 5!

So a while back I told you guys about a competition I entered in which if I won I would get a free two nights stay at One King West Hotel in Toronto. I had just become one of the finalists and needed votes to win. Well I thought I would give you guys a little update and let you know that I am officially in the Top 5! It’s super exciting and I couldn’t have done it without you guys. Thank you so much for all your votes I really appreciate it!

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The voting is still ongoing and I would really appreciate it if you voted for me if you haven’t already. You can vote by clicking here. All you have to do is fill in your name and email address and there’s a little gift for you as well if you vote!

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You can vote by clicking here.

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Momiji Manjū, A Lovely Japanese Gift (Guest Post)

By Derrick Theys

This little Japanese cake is called a momiji manjū. It is made of buckwheat and rice, and comes with a variety of fillings, like red bean, custard, or chocolate.

We bought a pack of momiji manjū on the island of Miyajima, in the bay of Hiroshima, where it is a speciality and a popular souvenir. They’re soft, spongy and delicious.

Many of the cake shops have the machine that makes them right there in the window. A batter is poured into a hot maple-leaf shaped mold, a blob of filling is squeezed into the middle, and the mechanical arm folds the mold over to close it up. The momiji manjū cooks until golden brown, and then A conveyor belt rolls it out, and seals it up in a little package. Wonderful!

We bought the pack as a gift, for a host family we were meeting the next day, to say thank you for hosting us. The box was wrapped up in a little furoshiki wrapping cloth, wrapped and tied, as is often customary for gifts.

We arrived in Beppu, a hot spring city in Japan’s southern island. We handed our host family the gift, and it quickly joined glasses of sake, beers, and chocolates on the table for everyone to enjoy!

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What A National Tragedy Can Teach Us About The Power Of Choice (Guest Post)

By Tiffany Wright

Last April marked the 20th anniversary for the Columbine High School massacre in Colorado. I know,
I’m a bit late when I mention Columbine. However, after feeding my morbid curiosity by researching
the lives behind the two school shooters – and their motives – I came to believe we can all learn a lesson
about the power of choice.

One of the shooters, Eric Harris, started a journal one year before the massacre. I found some
excerpts here from Eric’s now-defunct blog where he rants about everything that irks him. If I didn’t
know who wrote them, I would’ve passed it for the absurd tirades of a typical hormonal teenager.

His accomplice Dylan Klebold was a more interesting case study. Dylan was less focused on hatred
and more focused on personal problems like depression and suicidal tendencies. It was depression that
fueled much of his homicidal intent.

Both Harris and Klebold had been formulating their plans for a full year.

Both recorded themselves talking about how much they hated the world and wanted to destroy it.

Both of their plans originally involved detonating hand-made bombs in the school cafeteria. The
bombs would’ve wiped out over 600 people. The two boys would’ve then gunned down fleeing
survivors. By the time the reporters and police crew would arrive, the remaining bombs from the boys’
van would wipe them out. Slate sums up their motive perfectly: “they were gunning for devastating
infamy on the historical scale of an Attila the Hun.” 2 As it was, the bombs were too shoddily built to
work, so instead they stormed the school building and shot 13 people before taking their own lives.

Can you imagine harboring so much hatred that you want to destroy hundreds of people?

Yet, a contempt for our imperfect world is what perpetrates such motives and deepens the cycle of
injustice. Jordan Peterson, a clinical psychologist and author of “12 Rules for Life,” says in his book,
“People who think such things…appoint themselves supreme adjudicators of reality and find it wanting.
They are the ultimate critics”. 3 Harris and Klebold justified their negative feelings by taking revenge on a
cruel world. Both chose to act on their anger. This should remind us that we, too, have a choice on
whether we act on our negative feelings or not.

Here is one example where I struggled in choosing to let go of my anger. I was once debating a
certain hot-button topic with one particularly confrontational friend, I was on the receiving end of
mockery, shame and rudeness because of my opinions. It hurt, and I wanted to bite back.

Another example is my experience with social media. I witnessed a mob mentality against a position
that I strongly believed in. I saw so many cruel comments like,

“I hope your children die.”

“I hope you die.”

“People who believe X are f-ing retarded.”

Again, it hurt, and I wanted to bite back. And, as a sort of unhealthy defense-mechanism, I started to
think in the exact same hateful manner. The very same words that the mob spewed circulated in my
head.

“I hope they die.”

“I hope they never have children.”

“People who believe Y are f-ing retarded.”

“I hate them.”

“I hate them.”

“I HATE THEM.”

Then I realized that my thought process mimicked the “I hate everything” rant in Eric Harris’s journal,
and I immediately took a step back. I didn’t want to be embroiled in hatred. It was a miserable place. It’s
just that the urge to “bite” back was so overwhelming that I didn’t know what to do with those feelings.
So I considered: 13 innocent victims died because two angry people lashed out. Am I any better than
them if I lash out at those whom I believe wronged me?

In the end, I cut my confrontational friend out of my life, and I haven’t looked back. I cut most social
media out of my life too, and now whenever I’m bored, instead of getting fired up over a smug Reddit
post, I watch wholesome Japanese dramas to brighten my day.

Let the proles spew their hatred. I choose not to fall into the same emotional traps as they did. I
choose to raise myself higher than the haters, for the sake of my emotional health and betterment.

We can choose not to fall into a similar line of thinking as Harris and Klebold. Choose something
better. Choose to move on from hate. Think about Harris and Klebold next time you want to say or think something hurtful about someone. Think about them before you press that “reply” button on a heated
social media thread. You never know whether a simple act of hate can spiral into something you will
regret doing.

I understand. We’re primed to have emotional reactions when the world treats us unfairly or when
someone insults us. I understand, and it can be a struggle not to “bite” back. This is why, before I part, I
will leave a powerful quote for you to reflect on:

“You will continue to suffer if you have an emotional reaction to everything that is said to you. True
power is sitting back and observing everything with logic. If words control you that means that everyone
else can control you. Breathe and allow things to pass.” ~ Bruce Lee

Here are some more inspirational quotes that I have composed:

“It’s not your successes that defined you, but the bravery to pick yourself up and try one more time.”

“You haven’t failed enough until you actually succeeded.”

“Life wasn’t made to overcome you. You were made to overcome life.”

*****
Works cited:

1. CNN, Cable News Network,
http://www.cnn.com/SPECIALS/2000/columbine.cd/Pages/SUSPECTS_TEXT.htm.
2. Cullen, Dave, and Dave Cullen. “At Last We Know Why the Columbine Killers Did It.” Slate
Magazine, Slate, 20 Apr. 2004, slate.com/news-and-politics/2004/04/at-last-we-know-why-the-
columbine-killers-did-it.html.

3. Peterson, Jordan B. 12 Rules for Life. Penguin Books Ltd., 2019.

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Blogger Recognition Award

Thank you so much to tatterhood for this nomination! She is an awesome writer with multiple posts on so many interesting topics including books, music and lifestyle posts!

The Rules:
  • Thank the nominator, and publish a post on your blog about receiving the Blogger Recognition Award.  Make sure to provide a link to the nominator’s blog in your post.
  • Give a brief story of how your blog started.
  • Give two pieces of advice to new bloggers.
  • Nominate 10-15 other bloggers for this award, and inform them of their nomination.
How I Started Blogging

Well I had always loved writing and new that I wanted to write and one of my friends started a blog so I thought I would too because that would be the perfect way to start out and get better at writing as well as build an audience for my work.

Advice For New Bloggers
  1. Don’t give up- I know it’s slow when you start out and it’s hard to get views/likes/follows but if you put effort into it and keep posting regularly and stay active it will be worth it and your blog will grow.
  2. I’ve noticed a lot of bloggers these days, especially new ones, leave their links on the comments sections of other peoples posts- trust me you don’t want to do this. It’s super annoying and instead of giving you more traffic people are going to get pissed off and avoid you on purpose. Instead look for blogs that have a share and promote page and leave your link there.

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Nominations

Anyone who wants to do this please feel free to do so!

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