Living With Depression

Many people don’t understand what depression feels like and think that people who are depressed are just being sad and pessimistic and they should just try to brighten up. What people don’t realize is that depression isn’t a choice, it’s a disease. It’s sad how psychological illnesses are not taken as seriously as physical ones. Most of the time people just think that people with psychological diseases are just “weak minded” and they should just get over it. No we are not selfish, self-centered or attention seekers. Depression is real and it effects almost 350 million people worldwide.

Being depressed is like trying to swim but having a rock tied to your foot the whole time dragging you down. No matter what you do that cloud just doesn’t lift and it’s sad but after a while you stop trying to fight it and start giving in. It starts small like one day you just wake up a little sadder than usual, then soon you stop going out as much as you used to, you don’t laugh or talk as much anymore either and after a while it takes way too much strength to even get out of bed.

The one thing I’ve noticed about having depression is you really figure out who in your life genuinely cares about you and who doesn’t. Another thing I’ve noticed is that people soon give up on you which honestly just makes it worse because the people you expect to help you and to understand just end up telling you that you’re just being lazy. Sometimes it may actually seem like we’re being lazy or we don’t want to help out but what people don’t understand is that it takes so much strength to even get up that it feels like it’s impossible for us to do anything other than just sleep or sit around. Sometimes it feels like we’re being unfair and that we don’t care about hurting others but we do care- in fact we care too much. Every little comment you make that you may not have even said to hurt us does hurt us. Those little comments about our hair or our clothes will forever be engraved in our minds. We are very sensitive and sometimes you need to keep your opinion to yourself because we have a really hard time accepting ourselves as it is and sometimes you just make it worse.

Depression is a very dark road and the worst part is it never really goes away. It’s always there just around the corner waiting for some sign of weakness so that it can attack again. This can sometimes make people think you’re moody but it’s not true. Sometimes you just want to be alone and sometimes you want to be surrounded by people but we don’t act this way to annoy others because believe me it’s just as annoying to us as it is to you. Sometimes we need to be alone because we can’t take the pressure of socializing or even just having a conversation with someone. Sometimes we need to figure our own thoughts out before we can deal with talking to other people.

I know that people probably tell you all the time that things aren’t as bad as they seem but sometimes they are. So I’m not going to end this by telling you to try to brighten up or change. I will however tell you that there is always help out there for you if you think you need it. There are also lots of people out there who have been through what you have and they’ve survived. There is nothing wrong with you- you aren’t a freak, you aren’t weird and you’re definitely not weak. You are a strong, unique and powerful individual who is going to get through this because things are going to get better and you deserve to be happy. Nothing is ever worth ruining your happiness for and once you learn to love yourself and your life things will look brighter. Whether you’re just currently going through a difficult phase or whether you have clinical depression you just need to remember that you come first- don’t try to please everyone around you, just focus on yourself. Maybe you need a few days off but that’s okay- take a break and relax. Things will get better.

“Maybe you have to know darkness before you can appreciate the light” –Madeline L’Engle

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