My Favorites This Month

This month has been really crazy and I thought I would write a post about some of my favorite things this month.

Books

The Well Of Loneliness by Radclyffe Hall- this fascinating read challenged mainstream society and was banned upon publication nearly ruining Hall’s career. It is not an autobiography but is very similar to Hall’s own life. The story revolves around Stephen a girl whose parents are disappointed at having a daughter. Her father quickly accepts that he has a daughter instead of the son he longed for but her mother never really gets over it. Stephen who was always more masculine and different from the other girls grows up to be a lesbian and the book is about her life and struggles.

Equus by Peter Shaffer- this play took the world by storm. It revolves around a psychotic young boy called Alan, who blinds six horses. This compelling play is from the point of view of his psychiatrist who tries to understand him and in the process even begins to envy him. I had to read it for my literature class and I absolutely am fascinated by this play.

Othello by William Shakespeare- Othello is a heartbreaking tale of two lovers whose love is shattered by the evil and manipulative Iago. Othello is a black man in love with Desdemona a white girl and so their love is frowned upon by society however they decide to elope and get married anyway. But things soon change as Iago whom the gullible Othello trusts convinces Othello that Desdemona is cheating on him with Cassio. This story is a touching and emotional tragedy and one of Shakespeare’s greatest plays. To be honest I was never a huge fan of Shakespeare’s plays but I had to do Othello for my English class and ended up loving it.

Catch 22 by Joseph Keller- this book is one of my favorite books of all time and recently I decided to read it again (yes I’m a book nerd). It’s a complicated book about the military and Yossarian who doesn’t want to continue flying missions for the military. However, there’s always a catch in everything he and the people around him do. This book is imaginative, creative and engaging and if you haven’t read it so far you really need to.

Paper Towns by John Green- Paper Towns is a thought provoking and inspiring tale of two teenager- Quentin and Margo. Quentin has always been in love with Margo since the two were children and Margo who grew up to be a lot more popular in high school than Quentin drifted apart from him. However, after an adventurous night together they reconnect only for Margo to completely disappear. Quentin tries to find her and in the process ends up learning a lot about himself and his friends.

Songs

Hello by Adele- it seems like anything Adele sings is pure genius and I am absolutely loving her new song Hello. It is not only catchy, it has depth and meaning- something that a lot of songs these days don’t have. The video too is amazing and Adele looks more beautiful than ever. The video tells us the story behind the song. It’s simple yet perfect for this particular song.

The Hills by The Weeknd- this song is just so saddening and so honest. It’s very relatable for most people who have been in relationships because most people have been in a relationship like this one at least once. It’s also really catchy (it was stuck in my head for a really long time) and it has a great beat to it. Plus, the remixes by both Nicki Minaj and Eminem are great and make an amazing song even better.

Hotline Bling by Drake- this song took the internet by surprise and almost everyone was making parodies of it or making fun of Drake’s “dance moves”. This song not only instantly puts a smile on my face but there is also a deeper meaning to the lyrics. It’s a really fun song and I’ve really been into it this month.

Come On Eileen by Dexy’s Midnight Runners- I recently read and watched The Perks Of Being A Wallflower and this song instantly became one of my favorite songs. It’s a fun, pretty hipster, and catchy song that you need to listen to. It’s not exactly a famous, mainstream song but it’s a great song.

Complicated by Kimya Dawson- Kimya Dawson is amazing and I’ve been pretty obsessed with her music lately. Out of all her songs this one is probably my favorite one because it’s just so real. It talks about how we all just need to accept each other for who we are instead of just judging others for being different. If you’ve never heard a Kimya Dawson song you need to listen to her immediately!

So I hope you liked this post and don’t forget to like, share, follow and comment on what your favorite things this month were!

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His Heart Broke

The middle son

Eighteen years old

Left for the unknown

The mother cried

And the brothers wept

No one asked the father

If his heart broke

 

The last daughter

A young bride

Left her home

The mother smiled

The brothers danced

No one asked the father

If his heart broke

 

The youngest son

An angry man

He cursed and yelled

The mother feared

The brothers raged

No one asked the father

If his hear broke

 

The eldest son

A weakling but cunning

Abandoned them

The mother wrote

The brothers called

No one asked the father

If his heart broke

This poem was the first poem written by one of my closest friends. It’s very personal and touching and I felt like I needed to share it with all of you! It’s about a family where the father’s opinion is ignored because he is a man and stereotypically they aren’t supposed to show emotions but all humans have emotions and we need to change that mentality that men are supposed to be tough and emotionless. All families have their disputes and sometimes these problems can tear a family apart. This poem reminds us that family is important and it’s important to treat the ones you love well because they are not always going to be around. Don’t forget to like, share, follow and let us know what you think about the poem!

If you want to check out more from her visit her blog: https://mistry07.wordpress.com/

And follow her comics on tapastic: http://tapastic.com/series/MistryLand

 

Phases I Went Through

All teenagers go through a bunch of phases (that mostly tend to be extreme, weird or annoying). We’ve all been at that phase when you don’t support the government and prefer anarchy or communism over democracy (wait was that just me?). We’ve all also gone through that phase where we want to get a bunch of piercings and dye our hair. As someone who just turned eighteen (a legal adult but technically still a teenager) these are the phases I have been through over the past few years:

The mad at everyone phase– this is one of the first phases I went through as a newly proclaimed teenagers. My hormones were out of control, my body was changing, everything just felt weird and uncomfortable and I just couldn’t understand what was happening. So I did what all teenagers do- I took it out on everyone around me (sorry…). I started spending a lot more time on my own then I used to, I started to listen to offensive, angry music (Eminem, Six Inch Nails etc.) and I began changing the way I dressed and acted. This led to my next phase- the punk phase.

The punk phase– this consisted mainly of a lot of eyeliner and weird haircuts. It also included a lot of rock music about life and death and hate and anguish (and that was just Marilyn Manson). To be honest this was definitely the craziest phase I went through. For one, I was mad and angry all the time which was a great excuse to yell at everyone who irritated me. But on the other hand, it got quite exhausting- like you have no idea how much energy it takes to be constantly annoyed and depressed.

The political phase– I may have earlier mentioned this but I’m a huge history fan and I love reading about pretty much anything to do with the past. I’ve always been a bit of an extremist in the sense that I’ve always found myself on one extreme. In history we learn a lot about politics, politicians and types of governments and as always I found myself on one extreme side. At first I firmly believed in anarchy because I always thought the government held us back and trained us to be a certain way but as I put more research into it I realized anarchy is not an excellent idea. Then I became very interested in dictators and wondered about how maybe they weren’t as bad as the media portrayed them to be because they did seem to achieve a lot- especially for their own country. However, soon I learnt that dictators are terrible and people are miserable under their rule- they only have selfish reasons behind their actions and frankly the economic achievements of a country should not be solely relied upon to see the nations achievements and successes. Then I read a lot about communism too and ideologically it sounds perfect, when you really think about it it’s just a great theory- however it’s not something that can be relied upon in reality. After all this pondering I finally concluded that the best government system is non-existent. I hope someday we will have the perfect system.

The introvert phase– I’ve always been quiet and shy but during this phase it got worse. I kind of crawled into my own shell and refused to socialize. I’ve always had trouble with social situations in general anyway but this was pretty bad. I just preferred to be on my own and read (I’m a bibliophile) just everyone in general seemed to annoy me. However I did learn a lot during this phase- not only because I was reading a lot but because being on your own is sometimes a great idea. You learn more about your own interests and get new hobbies.

The hipster phase– this is the phase that almost everyone seems to be going through- especially teens. This is when I got all spiritual and was all about peace and the universe. I got some hipster glasses and was all deep. Admittedly this was the most fun one. I got into some great music (like The Smiths) and read some very interesting books and articles. I also really calmed down and stopped being so angry. It was a fun phase because I finally grew up a little, stopped thinking about only myself and realized there was a lot more in the world than just us. There is so much we need to learn about the environment- we are literally destroying the world and soon when it’s too late there will be nothing left to save.

The independent phase– during this one I pretty much just tried to do everything on my own. I started trying to cook (unsuccessfully), I began writing online, and I tried taking care of my own problems. It was actually quite fun. It made me realize how much people actually do to help me out-like my parents and friends- and how difficult it can sometimes be to do everything all on your own. It really made me appreciate everyone around me and how much they’ve done for me.

Acceptance– In the end, after going through all these ups and downs, I finally became the person who I am today and to be completely honest I’m glad I went through all this because I have learnt so much. I finally know who I am and for the first time I’m comfortable with being myself. I stopped trying to please everyone and agreeing with things I don’t actually believe. I became a lot more spiritual too and began to really care about the environment and the universe. It feels great to finally be sure about myself and who I am.

Don’t forget to like, share, follow and comment about the phases you went through!

Life

I feel empty and cold

Like an unwritten book

I just want someone to hold

Someone to watch

As I pour out my agony

Can’t anybody see

How I feel inside

Can’t anybody be

The person to whom I confide

Will anyone hold me

If ever we collide

Too much work

Too much to revise

Not enough time to be the best

And to be happy

You must choose now

But choose wisely

For you will quickly regret that road

That you were once running on

That you now cry by alone

What was once running

Will quickly turn to jogging

And what was once walking

Will quickly turn to sobbing

_________________________________________________________________________________________________

So I found this poem that I had written in 8th grade and forgotten about (I used to be super emo)…

 

Living With Depression

Many people don’t understand what depression feels like and think that people who are depressed are just being sad and pessimistic and they should just try to brighten up. What people don’t realize is that depression isn’t a choice, it’s a disease. It’s sad how psychological illnesses are not taken as seriously as physical ones. Most of the time people just think that people with psychological diseases are just “weak minded” and they should just get over it. No we are not selfish, self-centered or attention seekers. Depression is real and it effects almost 350 million people worldwide.

Being depressed is like trying to swim but having a rock tied to your foot the whole time dragging you down. No matter what you do that cloud just doesn’t lift and it’s sad but after a while you stop trying to fight it and start giving in. It starts small like one day you just wake up a little sadder than usual, then soon you stop going out as much as you used to, you don’t laugh or talk as much anymore either and after a while it takes way too much strength to even get out of bed.

The one thing I’ve noticed about having depression is you really figure out who in your life genuinely cares about you and who doesn’t. Another thing I’ve noticed is that people soon give up on you which honestly just makes it worse because the people you expect to help you and to understand just end up telling you that you’re just being lazy. Sometimes it may actually seem like we’re being lazy or we don’t want to help out but what people don’t understand is that it takes so much strength to even get up that it feels like it’s impossible for us to do anything other than just sleep or sit around. Sometimes it feels like we’re being unfair and that we don’t care about hurting others but we do care- in fact we care too much. Every little comment you make that you may not have even said to hurt us does hurt us. Those little comments about our hair or our clothes will forever be engraved in our minds. We are very sensitive and sometimes you need to keep your opinion to yourself because we have a really hard time accepting ourselves as it is and sometimes you just make it worse.

Depression is a very dark road and the worst part is it never really goes away. It’s always there just around the corner waiting for some sign of weakness so that it can attack again. This can sometimes make people think you’re moody but it’s not true. Sometimes you just want to be alone and sometimes you want to be surrounded by people but we don’t act this way to annoy others because believe me it’s just as annoying to us as it is to you. Sometimes we need to be alone because we can’t take the pressure of socializing or even just having a conversation with someone. Sometimes we need to figure our own thoughts out before we can deal with talking to other people.

I know that people probably tell you all the time that things aren’t as bad as they seem but sometimes they are. So I’m not going to end this by telling you to try to brighten up or change. I will however tell you that there is always help out there for you if you think you need it. There are also lots of people out there who have been through what you have and they’ve survived. There is nothing wrong with you- you aren’t a freak, you aren’t weird and you’re definitely not weak. You are a strong, unique and powerful individual who is going to get through this because things are going to get better and you deserve to be happy. Nothing is ever worth ruining your happiness for and once you learn to love yourself and your life things will look brighter. Whether you’re just currently going through a difficult phase or whether you have clinical depression you just need to remember that you come first- don’t try to please everyone around you, just focus on yourself. Maybe you need a few days off but that’s okay- take a break and relax. Things will get better.

“Maybe you have to know darkness before you can appreciate the light” –Madeline L’Engle

Also please remember that there are always people out there that are trained to help those suffering from mental disorders! If you’re not sure who to talk to or what therapists there are in your area you can always check for therapists near you on BetterHelp!

If you enjoyed this post don’t forget to like, share, follow and comment.

5 Friends You Need To Have

In high school you’re very likely to hang out with lots of different types of people. Even though school can seem like a total drag sometimes the best part can be all the people you get to interact with. There are some people in school that you should definitely avoid but here are some that you should stop avoiding and start becoming friends with:

The book nerd– she/he is probably sitting in a library engrossed in a large book that gives you anxiety just thinking of it (unless you too are a nerd like me in which case you will feel a warm, fuzzy feeling inside). This friend probably has really bad social anxiety and often needs a push from you. Admittedly, they’re a little shy and awkward at first but go approach him/her and begin a conversation because I bet they will have some insanely interesting topics to talk to you about. Plus, nerds are great because they’re loyal, warm, understanding and sweet. Also, they’re secretly a badass just waiting for a partner in crime- someone to unleash their crazy.

The extrovert– this is the fun crazy one who drags you out to parties when you’re feeling down. She’ll/he’ll always be there for you at your lowest and cherish your happiness with you at your highest. This kind of friend is usually very social and friends with everyone around them. He/she loves to have a good time and you rarely ever see them unhappy or sad. They’re almost always smiling and their laugh is contagious. You need this friend because everyone needs a lift-up and they’re the best person to be around when you’re feeling low.

The nice one– he/she says yes to everything and always agrees. You secretly wonder if she/he is actually a psychopath looking for the perfect moment to kill you. This friend is always there for you no matter what and always listens when you have a problem. This kind of friend is really hard to find because no one is this genuinely nice anymore. However, he/she is pretty naïve so make sure you’re also always there when he/she needs you to point out when someone is taking advantage of his/her kindness.

The punk– he/she is probably dressed in all black (because it rules!) and is pretty quiet and deep. This friend usually listens to Nirvana or Six Inch Nails or Five Finger Death Punch and talks more about death than old people. But she/he is also a risk taker and will probably scare away anyone who tries to mess with you. Plus, he/she probably has a secret happy side that she only shows to people she/he really likes.

The hipster– being hipster is the trend right now but only few can claim to be real hipsters. You’ll probably find this friend reading very controversial philosophical books under a tree wearing bright colors and hipster glasses. Even though people love to hate on hipsters they are a lot more fun than most people and they’re a lot smarter than people would like to admit. They’re also good at artsy stuff and since hipsters are probably going to take over the world soon it would be a good idea to get into some artsy stuff yourself. They’re also super sarcastic (which is always fun) and you might find yourself learning a lot from them.

So this pretty much sums up all the different types of people you should try and interact with in school because trust me you will not regret it- I speak from experience. They may not be that popular or inviting but once you become good friends with them you will really love them!

If you enjoyed this post don’t forget to like, share, follow and comment!

The World

The world is a lonely place

Bursting with life

Billions of people walk by

And yet we are always alone

Why do we fight so much?

War after war

What will we have fought for

When there will be nothing left anymore

When the only thing you will have won

Are the dead bodies of your soldiers

And the destruction of the world

Is it really worth it?

Your bombs and tanks and guns

You kill millions without even blinking

And cry when your mother dies

Do we even know why we go to war anymore?

There is no reason great enough to justify massacre

You hate them because they’re different

They hate you because you’re different

But in the end aren’t we all just the same

Why can’t we all just co-exist peacefully?

And live together amiably

Let’s teach our children better

Than to be a hero of war

Let’s teach them

To be a hero of peace

____________________________________________________________________________________

I really love history but sometimes it seems that we really don’t learn from our past mistakes. We need to learn that there are better ways to solve problems than to go to war. We just need better verbal communication instead of massacring innocent civilians to prove a point. I’m so tired of reading about death and war and more death- we’re better than this and I believe that we can change if we all try to work together instead of against one another. At the end of the day we’re just people no matter our age, gender, religion, race etc.

“Peace is not something you wish for; it’s something you make, something you do, something you are, and something you give away.” – John Lennon

“Peace can not be achieved through violence, it can only be attained through understanding.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson

 

Please

Please may I?

Asks the little girl

May I feel love

No because it will only hurt you

The voice answers

Then may I dream big

And hope to be famous someday

She asks

No because you will only end up miserable and alone

The voice replies

Can I find my own answers

Without believing everything I hear

She questions

No people will judge you for being different

The voice tells her

Should I trust people I meet

She inquires

No they are dangerous, they will only hurt you and leave

Could I love the opposite gender

And the same gender too

She asks

No you’re just confused

The voice responds

____________________________________________________________________________________

This poem is the conversation between an adult and a child. What I wanted to show here is how children are born so innocent and so full of love and hope but we wire them to be just like us. We’re so scared of losing them that we stop them from thinking their own thoughts, from being themselves, from being as free as they should be. The worst thing you can do to a person is crush their dreams because that will destroy them forever. Instead of telling children what to do we need to support them in what they’re already passionate about. Instead of steering them to a safer road we need to help them drive on the road they themselves have chosen.

“It is easier to build up a child than it is to repair an adult… choose your words wisely”

 

Book Review: Paper Towns

*Warning: Contains Spoilers*

John Green’s Paper Towns is easily a classic and officially one of my favorite books. His style of making the characters painfully realistic and relatable just makes the book better. John Green brings to life characters and plot lines that no other author could do so well. He never stops to try to make his characters perfect and pleasing to the reader but instead brings out their flaws clearly, not hiding any details. The first John Green book I have ever read was An Abundance Of Katherines and since then I have admired his writing skills. His books bring out emotions no one even knew existed. Green doesn’t have to look far for his ideas and inspiration, he just has to find ordinary situations and write an extraordinary book about them. As a teenager especially, his books seem so relatable because we can understand the struggles of dating and prom and love and stereotypes.

Paper Towns starts off with a young Quentin Jacobson and who is already in love with Margo Roth Spiegelman. They discover the dead body of a man who has killed himself and they both react very differently. He steps away from the body whereas she steps closer to it. This already shows us the difference in their personalities which eventually leads to them drifting apart as they grow up. Margo looks for adventure and thrill while Q is quite fine with a cliché and mellow existence. Margo is popular and beautiful but morbidly unhappy with her life. Quentin on the other hand has an average life with average friends and seems quite satisfied (except being hopelessly in love with Margo who he is no longer close to).

One random night Margo convinces Q to go on an adventure with her to punish her boyfriend and best friend who were secretly sleeping together behind her back. They also punish a few other wrong doers in the process. Eventually they go home and Q is excited about what the night will lead to only to find out that Margo has completely vanished. At first he thinks she’ll eventually turn up as she had the tendency to run away sometimes but after being gone for a long time Q finally realizes she’s not coming back on her own this time and so he begins a Sherlock-like chase.

Quentin feels that since he and Margo spent the night together before she disappeared he has an obligation to look for her. He knows she loves mysteries and thinks she’s hidden some clues that will eventually lead to her location. Deep down he thinks that she wants him to look for her and find her. Meanwhile, a lot seems to be happening at school where Quentin’s not-so-popular friend Ben is now dating Margo’s super popular friend Lacey and everyone (except Q) seems to be obsessed with prom. This adds an element of humor and fun to an otherwise serious book which is always welcomed.

Finding the clues that Margo left leads to Quentin’s quiet and uneventful life becoming a whole lot more fun and adventurous. He visits places he never otherwise would have visited, he stands up against the bullies, he even misses his own graduation in order to go look for her. Ironically, his parents who are both psychologists seem to be missing this change of personality (or as he points out as long as he isn’t turning into a juvenile delinquent they’re okay with the changes).

Eventually, Quentin and his friends (which now includes Lacey) locate Margo and go on a road trip to New York to find her. However, when they do finally find her she barely acknowledges their existence and tells Q she didn’t want him to look for her. She confesses she never wants to come back and prefers instead to go her own way unlike Q who wants to go to college and lead a normal life. After a passionate kiss they decide sadly to go their own way but promise to keep in touch.

The book ends with them kissing but knowing they will no longer be together as they have both chosen different paths in life. The ending is quite sad and depressing but yet very honest and realistic. I actually liked that John Green decided not to bring them together but rather let them go their own way because that makes the most sense.

In conclusion, even though this book made me super sad and I didn’t get out of my pjs for almost two days after reading it I would still recommend that this is one book you absolutely should read (and keep some ice cream or chocolate nearby for when you finish it). As always John Green has done it again, giving us a book that has taught us more about life than schools ever will.

“What is the point of being alive if you don’t at least try to do something remarkable”